


Gabriel's Prayer

by twerkinshield



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fic based on a gifset, M/M, Reincarnated/Revived Gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 08:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twerkinshield/pseuds/twerkinshield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel is alone and powerless, and takes refuge in a small church to do something he hasn’t done in a lifetime. Pray.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gabriel's Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: none… I made all of this up but the church idea came from the video promo for Richard Speight Jr.’s Three Blind Saints movie
> 
> I own nothing Supernatural related and this is entirely fictional. If I owned anything then I would’ve blackmailed the writers of SPN to officially bring Gabriel back by now.
> 
> Italics are for when people are speaking out loud. And yes I realize this makes Gabriel look like a crazy person for talking to himself but I don’t give a flying fuck in space :)
> 
> WARNING: this was literally the first fic I ever wrote, and I rediscovered it hidden in my documents folder on my old computer. Beware shitty writing.

It’s cold. And wet. Raining cats and dogs one might say… either way it’s pathetic at how alone he is. It’s the middle of the night when he wakes up just on the outskirts of a little town in the middle of nowhere.  With no idea how he got there or how he’s even  _alive_  for that matter he, the former Archangel Gabriel, gets up and starts to trudge his way to some place warm and dry.

Walking. The human way. It’s so tedious and tiring and human, yet humans do it every day of their lives with little complaint because it’s all they know. Gabriel misses his wings. He misses the speed, the light, the warmth of his grace spreading through his body as his wings carry him through his Father’s universe, and the knowledge that he has the power to control his life and the lives of others with barely a thought.

To be this powerless and this alone and to have to rely on a greater power he can no longer hear or feel is completely terrifying. Maybe, he muses, this is why Dad loved the humans most. Because they have the ability to keep walking on their own strength, with no guarantee that things will turn out all right, and with no guarantee that they will survive.  And yet they have the kind of faith in a higher power and in others that remains constant… ever hopeful. Maybe it chips away a bit whenever bad things happen, and maybe solidifies into an iron resolve when things become impossibly hard. But human faith is an impossibly strong thing.

Hope is incredibly fragile, and yet so very hard to kill. Maybe this is why the humans have survived this long without dissolving into the same chaos that Gabriel’s brothers did. Maybe this is why the Winchesters keep defying their fate, and overcoming every obstacle that's thrown in their way.

 _"After all",_  Gabriel’s grin is a wry and empty one as he shakes the water from his hair,  _“Their hope was the reason I threw away the sweet gig I had going for thousands of years. Damn the Winchesters and their damn stubbornness. Damn Dean and his self-righteous soldier routine. And damn Sam for his kicked-puppy look and seemingly endless optimism for a better future he HAS to know he’s never going to get!”_

Gabriel’s train of thought is interrupted as he stops squelching through the mud on the road long enough to notice the modest little chapel sitting just between the post office and the park. He notices all the flowers blooming in the small garden near the front door, colorful and alive even with the wind and rain pelting down on them. So strong and beautiful and  _alive_  that Gabriel suddenly goes quiet with the absolute knowledge that what he fought and died for was right. This knowledge spreads through his body like his missing grace used to. Knows it to his very… soul? Core? It doesn’t matter what he is now, he muses, as he looks around to the houses and restaurants along the main street that spill out warm light and happy people and laughter and love.

And he knows.

It was worth it.

With no money, no food, and no place to stay for the night, Gabriel walks up the steps to the church doors and tests his luck. The door swings open smoothly on oiled hinges and he knocks the mud off of his shoes before carefully stepping into the building. Immediately feeling a rush of warm air to take the edge out of the damp chill of outside. He looks to his right and notices the small table laden with photographs and candles tastefully burning around them.

 _“Honoring the dead? Remembering those away at war? The people in need of prayer? Humans have so many connections to each other…_ ” Gabriel gazes at the display, unseeing, remembering his own broken family and the life he lost.  _“Maybe it’s for closure. I guess it’s hard to see so much pain in life without trying to offer comfort to those who need it”_

Gabriel turns his gaze away and starts to walk slowly up the aisle. He sees the clean floor, the well-kept bibles, and the polished wood of the pews. He notes the modest stained glass windows adorning each wall. Notes the colors he can see, even with the rain and the lack of sunlight. He watches the colors flickering quietly from the light of the candles.

 _“I guess it makes sense to want to see some kind of beauty that can’t be touched by darkness,”_  he thinks.

When he finally looks to the front of the church his eyes linger over the variety of instruments gracing the stage and remembers the days gone past when he would sing and play songs of praise with his brothers and sisters. He sees the preacher’s stand, with a well loved bible with plenty of dog-eared pages sitting on it. He sees the simple wooden cross on the wall facing the pews. And he sees the small table off to the side that holds the (sadly) empty dishes that would normally carry the food and drink for communion. This church is obviously well cared for and well loved, and Gabriel feels it in the way his thoughts quiet, the way he feels tiny, the way he feels like a small child must, and in the way he feels completely, and utterly at peace.

He slips into the fourth row, feeling unworthy of sitting right up in the front row. He takes stock of how wet he is, and decides to take a seat regardless of how much like a drowned rat he is, rather than a former Archangel. He settles into the end of the row close to the aisle, letting his left arm rest on the armrest and settles his right arm along the back of the pew. He turns his face up and starts to talk.

 _“Jeeze I haven’t done this in a while. It’s been a long-ass time since I prayed for anything, let alone to Dad. Hah, I don’t even know if he’s there let alone if he’s listening to me. Well, it’s not like I’ve got anything to lose do I?”_ Gabriel chuckles in the quiet warmth of the empty chapel.

 _“I’m sure I don’t deserve anything at this point, I probably even went past **your**  infinite love eh Dad? Well here goes nothing…”_ Gabriel takes a deep shuddering breath, blinking back a sudden dampness in his eyes, and begins to speak.

 _“Dad, I know that I have nothing else to redeem myself with. I tried my best. I really did. I saved the Winchesters… I even stood up to my brother and called him a bag of dicks for you! Okay that probably wasn’t a great example…”_ a short quivering chuckle and a brief pause.  _“I know I have no right to be asking anything of you, but if there’s one thing I could wish for, anything at all, maybe you could give my powers back? I know it seems selfish and pretty stupid, trust me I know, but now that I don’t have any power at all, this is exactly when I want my power to help those two crazy kids. I’ve never really wanted to help someone like I have with the Winchesters. Especially Sam!”_

Another chuckle… this time a reminiscent one.  _“I mean I trapped him in an endless loop and killed his brother each day, and he still didn’t give up hope that he’d somehow get out and save his big brother. What a guy! I mean even after all that they still came to ask me for help as Loki! Ironic really that Sam, the Boy With the Demon Blood, is the one who still has hope and still believes in the good in people…”_

The wind gets louder for a few seconds and picks up outside, and he feels a small draft come from behind him, maybe an open window?

Not important. He’s on a roll now. A quick hand across his face wipes away the tears, and Gabriel plows on.  _“I completely understand if I don’t get my powers back. I know I don’t deserve it. But if I can’t protect Sam…maybe… maybe you could? Even just keep an extra eye on him? Because trust me, there’s no one else who deserves it more! If not, could you maybe let Sam know that I miss him? And tell them to keep fighting… because it’s...”_ His voice breaks on the end of the word,  _“it’s definitely worth it”_

_Please._

Gabriel feels a rush of warmth on his head, like someone placing a warm palm there, and hears a gentle yet somehow familiar whisper of “ ** _t_ _hen tell him yourself”_**  spoken in a proud, warm voice.

It’s at this point that Gabriel, with his head bowed, his white-knuckled hands clasped in prayer, body damp and shivering and with tears running down his face, finally notices that he’s not alone. He has a momentary feeling of panic as he turns around fists raised and knowing that he can’t defend himself like he used to, when his whole world narrows to a single unbelievable point.

_Sam!?!_

Sam Winchester. The Boy With The Demon Blood, Lucifer’s intended vessel, is standing at the church’s entrance with wet hair and an indecipherable expression.

To his credit though he doesn’t laugh at Gabriel’s rather pathetic attempts at defending himself. They end up staring at each other for what seems like forever, but in reality is probably only a few seconds. Gabriel standing in the aisle looking like a drowned rat that has been crying while leaning on the pew, while Sam stands tall and impassive and unreadable at the doors. Once Gabriel realizes that he’s still got tears on his face he makes a quick effort to wipe them off, doing this while Sam moves slowly but steadily towards him, not having said a word since entering the church. The closer Sam gets, the more unsteady his facial expression gets, like he’s barely holding onto his emotions. So by the time Sam reaches Gabriel his face is guarded but his eyes are damp and wide and  _still so hopeful_. Sam finally comes to a stop well inside Gabriel’s personal bubble, which forces Gabriel to look way up at him, once again a reminder of how small he is now.

Sam takes a shuddery breath.

“Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” Evidently Gabriel’s higher brain functions (or lack thereof) have been affected.

“What you said before”

“….. I said a lot of things befo- SHIT how much of that did you hear!?!” Gabriel’s eyes widen and his cheeks flush a bright red, while he brings his hands together in a nervous gesture.

“Enough to know you that you do care, even if you always want people to think you’re a total uncaring badass all the time” A small, watery smile dimples Sam’s face. “Did you mean what you said? About it being worth it?”

There is a pause, not for hesitation but for feeling, and then Gabriel’s hands still.

“Yes. Always.”

Sam is silent. Then a brilliant smile completely illuminates his face, followed by the most beautiful sound of laughter tumbling out of his mouth. His eyes fixed warmly on Gabriel the entire time.

“What!? You’ve never seen a hypocrite before!?” But instead of embarrassment, a profound relief spreads through Gabriel, and with a feeling not unlike a warm shot of whiskey to his system, he realizes that he is happy. “Honestly! I DIE for you two yahoos and I don’t even get some crappy t-shirt with a witty sayi-MMPH!”

All thought flies out of his head because this is the exact moment that Sam kisses him. Not hard or fast or desperate, but slow and warm and it takes his breath away and leaves his mouth tingling. Sam’s larger frame steps closer and his arms wrap around Gabriel and pull him in and up so that they can kiss more comfortably. His mouth a warm and perfect fit against Gabriel’s. The only train of thought that runs through Gabriel’s mind is ** _yesyesperfectworthityesalwayswillbeworthit_**  and he begins to understand a little how humans can hold onto hope for so long and how they can weather the worst of storms as long as they hold onto a tiny shred of hope.

By the time they break away from each other Gabriel’s feet are a foot off the ground with one hand wound into Sam’s hair, and the other in a death grip in the fabric of Sam’s jacket. Sam’s arms holding his smaller frame off the ground with little effort, and neither of them seem to mind that they’re both soaked and wet from the rain. While Gabriel is busy collecting his runaway mind Sam abruptly grins at him, lightly kisses him again, and then chuckles.

“What? I may be human now but I can’t be THAT bad at kissing!”

Sam lowers him to the ground and keeps one hand on Gabriel’s hip, while bringing the other up to brush through Gabriel’s hair and cup his face.

“I guess God really  _does_  work in mysterious ways” Another blinding smile and a chuckle.

Gabriel grins back, amber eyes warm and happy and  _alive_ , and looks into Sam’s hazel eyes and says quietly,

“Always worth it”


End file.
